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How to determine if one’s wife came from God |
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continuation...
It is better to dwell in the wilderness. Do you know what a wilderness is? A wilderness is a place not normally inhabited by people. And the Bible said, it is better to dwell there than live with a contentious and angry woman. A woman who is always angry and a contentious woman both never stop from talking. She is like a bell, which never stops from ringing. Actually, bells are even better because they ring only when there are occasions. But a talkative woman never stops. She talks even when there are other people around. She will embarrass you in front of your colleagues. (“Kulas! You are very lazy! Why don’t you cook rice now? What have you been doing there?”) She is not only talkative but also domineering. If you have that kind of a wife, according to the Bible, you are very unfortunate.
Sisters, please, don’t get mad at me if, in case, you are like that. Do not blame me. I only read what the Bible says. Do not be angry. Do not despair either because we will make the necessary repair. As I’ve told you, that attitude can still be repaired, because it is not right for a woman to be talkative, or contentious, or to easily flare up. Those are the traits of a woman that is not of God.
What is God’s doctrine for women for them to become of God? What does God want every woman to do? Let us read I Timothy 2:11—
“Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.”
What is God telling the women? “Let the women learn in silence.” Why do God wants the woman to learn in silence? Because they are really noisy; they talk a lot. While chewing betel and nut, they talk about the lives of other people. They gossip a lot. (“Mare, have you heard about what happened to Pareng Gustin?” “Why, what happened?” “Somebody saw him yesterday in Avenida with another woman.” “Can you prove that?” “Don’t be angry with me. It was not I who saw him.”) And before you knew it, they are already pulling each other’s hair.
There are women who are like news reporters. They would go around the whole barrio to gather the latest gossips, which she would later relay to others. What did the Bible say? Proverbs 16:28—
“A froward man soweth strife, and a whisperer separateth chief friends.”
It is really not good to talk recklessly. A loquacious woman can sow strife among friends. The Bible calls her a “whisperer”. She gathers and delivers gossips to all people. In other words, she is a rumormonger. And a rumormonger can make people, even the best of friends, quarrel. For this reason, the women were admonished to learn in silence.
And after that, we are going to proceed with making repairs. If your wife will not pass the standards of the Bible, get ready to make the necessary repair. And if you, women, know for yourself that you did not meet the Biblical standards, then start making the appropriate changes. It is not hard to change. All it takes is faith in God.
God can help you change if you will only submit yourself to Him. He is powerful enough to change you. He can actually change even your whole being.
Now, let us find out the qualities of a wife that came from God. It has been mentioned earlier that a prudent wife is from the Lord. But, what are the specific qualities of a prudent wife that came from the Lord? Proverbs 31:10 says—
“Who can find a virtuous woman?”
The Bible introduces to you only one woman—
“Who can find a virtuous woman?”
How many women do the Bible mentions? There is only one woman for you. If God will ever give you a virtuous woman, He will definitely give you only one. If there are two women in your life, it is either one of them is not of God, or both of them are not of God! So, we have to test them according to the standards of the Bible. Proverbs 31:10--“Who can find a virtuous woman”? And what is she worth? Continue reading—
“For her price is far above rubies.”
A virtuous woman is valued more highly that any precious stone like rubies and diamonds. A prudent wife is worth much, much more than rubies.
How valuable is a prudent wife? Proverbs 18:22 says—
“Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.”
How important is a woman to a man? A man who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favour of the Lord. Just try to think about it: Because of God’s mercy to man, He gave him a woman.
Now tell me brothers, do you know how to saw, or mend clothes? Perhaps, you do, but you do it the way a woodpecker does. If there are holes in your underwear, would you be able to mend them? Who would iron your trousers? It not that easy to iron clothes, right? Who would wash your clothes? I just don’t know the reason why women have a way of making clothes whiter. Men just couldn’t make their shirts white even if they soak it overnight with soap and bleaching agent.
A woman can do many things which a man cannot. That is why, should a man finds a prudent and virtuous woman, he automatically obtains a favor from God; can you imagine that? You have found somebody who will cook for you. I know of a man who lived all by himself. So, for his breakfast he had sardines, tuna for his lunch, and pork and beans for his supper. Why? It was because he didn’t know how to cook. One time, I asked him, “Why don’t you dine out instead?” He said, he was trying to economize so he had to settle for canned goods. Imagine! His meals were laden with toxins and preservatives. But when he got married, his wife now cooks for him. That proves that, any man who finds a wife, indeed, finds a favor from God. A woman may bring a lot of blessings if only you will live with her the right way.
Today, many women bring strife to their husbands. It’s like being thrown into hell. If a woman would not learn God’s teachings, she might bring her husband to destruction. A man who is planning to settle down is often heard saying as, he heading for a peaceful life. What peaceful life is he talking about? How can you find peace when from morning to evening your wife is nagging you? You are simply looking for trouble. Later on, even you mother-in-law, your brothers-in-law, and your sisters-in-law are also nagging you.
Do you think getting married is that simple? You have to get along well with people who are not related to you. Remember, they are not your relatives; they are not related to you by blood. Your wife came from a different clan; the two of you have different likes and dislikes. It would not be much of a problem if you are going to live with your wife alone. But that is not so! You just cannot disown the brothers and sisters of your wife. You cannot tell your wife, “I do not care! I am married to you, and not to your relatives!” Can you do that? They are her brothers and sisters. If your wife has 9 brothers and sisters, and all of them are married, you have to get along well with them also, including their kin. And if those 9 have 3 kids each, you also have to get along with the 27 children. You have to realize that getting married is not that simple, if it did not happen in accordance with the will of God. A lot of trials await you, and you have to bear a lot of hardships. But if you fortunately found a virtuous woman, the Bible said, you have found a good thing, and a favor from God. Let us continue Proverbs 31:11—
“The hearth of her husband doth safely trust in her.”
A virtuous woman is trustworthy. Leave her, and you’ll find her as you left her. Even if you go abroad for 3 years, she will never betray your trust. You will never find yourself singing, “Napakasakit, Kuya Eddie” (It truly hurts)). Are you familiar with that song?
A man went to Saudi Arabia to work; he left his wife and their son here. But when he returned, he found out that his wife already had an additional son. He found out that while he was working in a construction firm in KSA, his wife was already lying in bed with another man. And worst was that, the bed was bought out of his monthly remittance to his wife. His wife spent his hard-earned money to another man. His wife is not trustworthy. The Bible says that—
“The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her.”
He is therefore free of any fear and worry that his wife might fool around. She will never have any illicit affair; she will never cheat him. There are, indeed, trustworthy women!
I have witnessed how many women, after being taught of God’s doctrines, have become trustworthy. And once a woman learns God’s doctrines, her husband can be very sure that even if he leaves her for a long time, she will never look for another man because she truly loves her husband. The Bible says that—
“The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her.”
What else did the Bible says?—
“. . . so that he shall have no need of spoil.”
See that? He shall have no need for spoil. Everything about her is valuable. There are women who are always in bed. I once heard my grandmother giving a warning to my brother. “Do not ever fall for that woman. I know her very well because she is my neighbor.” My brother asked her why. And my grandmother said, that woman was “a woman of the bed.”
I was wondering then why my grandmother called her “a woman of the bed”. But later on, I came to realize what she meant. Imagine, even if it was already 9 in the morning, she was still in bed while her husband was the one preparing the breakfast. She was like a senora. You will not get anything from such kind of a woman. What the Bible says is, he shall have no need for spoil. You cannot ask for more. Why? Let us continue Proverbs 31:12—
“She will do him good and not evil.”
See? She does her husband good, and not evil. When? During pay day only? There are wives who treat their husbands well only when she receives his full salary. She wipes his perspiration; she caresses her. But if the salary is not complete, she is nagging him. (“Why is it not complete? It is not even enough to pay Aling Epang! Where did the rest of your pay go?”) And she would even utter expletives.
But the woman of the Bible . . . the woman who came from God . . . will never get short of benefits. She will do him good deed, and not evil. When? Whenever he receives bigger salary? Let us read?—
“All the days of her life.”
She will do her husband good all the days of her life. The wedding vow will be fulfilled—“To love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, until death do you part.” She will do her husband good all the days of her life. With or without salary, with or without employment, she is treating him well because he is her husband. “She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” What else?—
“She seeketh wool, and flax.”
What kind of a woman is she? She seeks wool and flax. She knows how to work. You see, during the time of King Solomon, wool was being used as a medium of exchange. In other words, this woman knows how to work for their livelihood. She also seeks for flax. In the past, flax was the most expensive clothing material. Therefore, this woman is very useful. She works for their livelihood. What else? Proverbs 31:13 says—
“And worketh willingly with her hands.”
One of the best assets a person can have is willingness to work at his own volition. She doesn’t have to be ordered; she doesn’t have to be forced. A person who does things voluntarily has a strong sense of responsibility. And that sense of responsibility is what compels him to do things without being told. The Bible also adds in Proverbs 31:14—
“She is like the merchant’s ship.”
See? She is like a commercial shipping line; she is like a merchant’s ship. Have you seen a commercial ship? For example, a ship coming from Mindanao delivers banana to Luzon. And from Luzon, this ship will now deliver goods and crops back to Mindanao, and so on, and so forth. That is what a hardworking woman like – she is like a merchant’s ship. She never stops from working for their livelihood. The Bible says in Proverbs 31:14-15—
“She bringeth her food from afar; she riseth also while it is yet night.”
See how industrious she is? She rises even if it is still dark. However, there are women who rise when it is almost bedtime again. A virtuous woman is an early-riser. As early as 4, or 5, in the morning, she is already sweeping the yard. Let us continue reading the Bible in Proverbs 31:15—
“…and giveth meat to her household . . .”
She cooks food early. She would be cooking rice; she would be frying the fish; she would be preparing hot chocolate. In the past, one had to add butter to the chocolate to make it creamier and tastier. There was no Milo yet that time. So, she wakes up very early in the morning, and prepares the food for her household. Let us continue with what the Bible says in Proverbs. 31:15—
“. . . and a portion to her maidens . . .”
She gives their servants their respective assignments. Therefore, she is a woman of means because she has servants, or household helps. Proverbs 31:16 says that—
“ She considered a field, and buyeth it with the fruit of her hands, she planteth a vineyard.”
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Bible
Religion,
Family and Marriage
