The Man and Wife recognized by God

Our topic will focus on the couple (husband and wife) that is recognized by God. We have studied that a kind wife comes from God. Let us read Proverbs 18:22—

”Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtained favor of the Lord.”

Therefore, a man who found a wife has found a good thing and received a favor. Thus, a wife is a favor from God and is a good thing. What kind of woman? Does this mean all? Let us read Proverbs 19:14—

”House and riches are the inheritance of fathers; and a prudent wife is from the Lord.”

A prudent woman or wife comes from God. We have learned already how a wife can be a woman of God.

Let us now analyze: If there is a commandment for a woman to submit herself to a man, to what kind of man she will submit herself to and why? Why is it that a man should govern over a woman? What does this mean in the Bible? Let us therefore analyze…

What kind of man does a woman should submit herself to if she wanted to be saved? In Ephesians 5:23 and I Corinthian 11:3, the Bible says—

“For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the Church: and he is the savior of the body.”

And so if a woman should submit herself to a man, who is he who has the right over the woman to be saved? Clearly said, he is the man who is like Christ. Is there a man who is the opposite of Christ? Of course there are, not just one. There are men just like what Christ has said in John 8:44—

“Ye are of your father, the devil…”

There are men who are sons of the devil. It is written in the Bible. Would you think Pastor Billy of Binangonan, Rizal who raped his four daughters, is of God? Although he is a pastor, would you say he is a man of God, raping her daughters since they were three years old? Clearly, this is a strong proof that there are men who are not of God.

In a religion, if you want to be saved you have to look for good, because good things nowadays are very rare. They are not so common. What are common and majority is the opposite of what is good – oppressors, misled people, unrighteous, swindler, liars, they proliferate in the society nowadays.

If we speak of a man, who in particular is a man to whom a woman of God should submit herself? He should be like Christ. Who is he? In I Corinthians 11:3—

”But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ: and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.”

The relationship between a husband and wife is depicted in this verse. God is the head of Christ. The head of the man is Christ, and the head of the woman is the man. You will notice the authority – the ladder of authority, there is the first, second, third and so on. Emphatically, this is one important thing. There is a level of command in the authority of the Christian faith. Thus, God heads the ladder next is Christ, then man over the woman.

Who is the man who has the right to rule over the woman? Of course, he is the man who has Christ as his head. But if a man doesn’t have Christ as his head, what kind of a man is he? Let us read Isaiah 63:19—

“We are thine: thou never barest rule over them; they were not called by thy name.”

In the prophecy, there are people who seemed they have never been ruled. What kind of people are they? In Isaiah 59:11—

”We roar all like bears, and mourn, soar like doves, we look for judgment, but there is none; for salvation but it is far off from us”.

They are the people who are far off from salvation, from judgment, people who seemed they have never been ruled ever since. Well, in the Catholic Chant (Pasyon) it says—

“Sapagkat pastor kang tunay nitong mundong kabilugan Ang obehang sinupaman kung di masok sa bakuran Ay di mo masasakupan...”

This chant is read every Lenten Season. This is a well-known chant. In some, there are even drunkards beside the place of chanting. In the last two lines, clearly it says that if a man doesn’t enter God’s jurisdiction then he is not under God. Therefore, there really is a man to whom God rules and there is a man who is not headed by God.

If you’re a woman of God and you would like to get married, you should have your president or head. You should look for a man who is also of God because if you chose a man who is like a beast, you will suffer. You might turn from being a woman of good to an evil one. This is not impossible since Eve and Adam, in the beginning were of God but have been by evil.

And so, if you are a woman, you should not give in easily to man especially if he is a drunkard or an alcoholic. You should choose a God-fearing individual. It is difficult to change a drunkard. In religion, experience proved that one difficult man to change is a drunkard. There are ways to change and to withdraw but it is very difficult. Why? Smokers could change easily. Cigarettes are nonsense. But an alcoholic—lung problem, the doctor has advised to stop drinking but still…even if he doesn’t have money anymore, he still makes way to the worst of engaging into so much debt just to sustain his vice. What is more devilish, a gambler or a drunkard? A gambler sometimes robs if he doesn’t have a capital. An alcoholic kills if he is already drunk. This is to prove that there really are men who are not of God. And pity to a woman who is ruled by these kinds of men. God’s plan should be followed. The track of salvation has God as head, followed by Christ over the man, who then rules over the woman. This is the authority to be followed for us to be saved.

Between husband and wife, the man is the head and the woman is the subject. If we used this doctrine as basis, is it allowed that a man be “under de saya” or ruled by a woman? No. You are reciprocating God’s natural plan. God wanted Adam to rule over Eve, not the other way around.

When Eve followed her own understanding, Adam was absent and so the devil deceived her. She didn’t even wait for Adam before she decided. She didn’t even consulted Adam, her head. She didn’t let Adam rule over him so she was deceived by the devil, and later on, even Adam was carried to commit the same sin.

We can notice the defects happening to mankind nowadays and so God has placed doctrines in the Bible so that the union between man and woman would succeed.

It might be unacceptable for some but the worst thing in life is marriage. If one would look for a “hell-like” life it is marriage. They say when you get married you’ll be at last “settled down” and in peace. It is neither settling down nor peaceful as you think. In time of misunderstanding, when the two quarrel, there are a lot of shouting, punching, and man hitting the woman, throwing of kitchen utensils even plates and glasses…a common scenario. How kind a man would be if the woman is bad, he will be influenced and so with the woman, how kind she may be but with a brutish man, she too might be the same as her husband. Let us read Proverbs 22:24-25—

”Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shall not go; Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul.”

God doesn’t want you to befriend a furious man, more so, to marry such kind. That is why, unfortunately if you have married that kind of man, God said in Proverbs 21:9—

”It is better to dwell in the corner of a housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.”

Why? You surely will be in the midst of a battlefield or in the middle of a furious war. Much better for you to climb a mountain just like what is said in Proverbs 21:19…

“It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.”

Marriage is very important in the eyes of God. And so God has placed rules to govern the husband and the wife for them not to suffer. Most people who will end up into hell are married than those unmarried. Let us read I Corinthians 7:32-35—

”But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married careth for the things that are for the world, how he may please his wife. There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit….”

If married, notice how the body figure changed. Even her point of view changed, sometimes her thoughts becomes lusty and so with men. In II Peter 2:14—

”Having eyes full of adultery…”

If man and woman have experienced sex, their eyes sometimes become lusty. Unlike children, when we see them play even if they are undressed, it doesn’t matter to them. But according to I Corinthians 7:32-35, unmarried men and women have clear, unpolluted minds.

As husband and wives, we have seen the truth in the Bible so let us take good care of it. The man should be the head and the woman, the subject. Why? What relationship does God wants to establish between husbands and wives? Are there circumstances that man should really be the ruling authority or is it what the present family code declares – that man and woman had equal rights? At present, there is this option for a woman to use her maiden surname rather than her spouse’s surname. Especially so, in other countries, man and woman have equal rights. But in the Christian faith, Christ taught us how God wanted the man and the woman, who are not blood-related, treat and relate with each other. Husband and wife are not blood related. They have not known each other for a long time until such time they met and felt the love at first sight.

You should not hurry to get married. There are couples who had premature relationship which ended so soon because the foundation is not strong. Not even knowing each other’s family background if the other has a blood history of having contagious diseases like Hepatitis A, B, C, or criminal cases, or AIDS, or insanity. Precisely, you have to examine first the background of the person you want to be with for the rest of your life.

Think of it. Your parents have cared for you during your childhood years, even until you become fully an adult. They had spent so much money for your necessities – food, education, clothing, shelter. This man, whom you wanted to get marry didn’t even contributed, not a single peso for your needs. Now, after so many years, here he comes and ask for you to marry him, not knowing that after he gets what he wanted, he’ll force you to wash the laundry, cook, serve him and the worst, he’ll make you a punching bag. It is heartening for parents to see their long-cared child treated like that of a person whom they didn’t know and a brutish beast!

Same with a man, after your parents raised you in a well-cared environment, you just end your life living with a traitor, adulterer. You have spent so many years lifting heavy and large blocks of cemented bricks in a construction site in the Middle East while she have bought a mattress from the money you’re sending sleep there with somebody else. Very unfortunate!

Therefore we should know the ways of God on how husbands and wives should relate with each other. What relationship does God wanted to establish between husband and wife? Why is there a commandment for a man, for a woman? What is that commandment? What does God mean in this relationship of a man and a woman who are not blood related?

Let us read Ephesians 5:30-32—

”For we are members of his body, of his flesh and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and the two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the Church.”

Saint Paul is speaking of a mystery. Christ and the Church have a relationship. Christ is the head and the Church his body. Let us read further Ephesians 1:22-23—

“And hath put all things under his feet, and gave him to be the head over all things to the Church, Which is his body, the fullness of him that filleth all in all.”

The Church, the group of the faithful, the group of believers, is described as the body and Christ as its head. In fact, in Colossians 1:18—

”And he is the head of the body, the Church…”

God had joined Christ and the church to form a new man. Why God is creating a new man? It is because the first man God had made was a failure. Adam transgressed. Therefore, by the power of God, He is now creating a new man. Let us read Ephesians 2:14—

”For he is our peace, who hath made both one, and hath broken down the middle wall of partition between us; having abolished in his flesh the enmity, even the law of commandments contained in ordinances; for to make in himself of twain one new man, so making peace.”

Have you noticed what is referred to as Corpus Christi? Body of Christ. It is a congregation of people, of faithful – the body of Christ and Christ as the head. When united, God had created a new man.

The union of husband and wife is associated with the union of Christ and the Church. Do you know that in a couple, God is creating an entity, a new institution, a new man? So the union of husband and wife, if the purpose of God was not understood, it is a failure. You should be united as one in Christ. How? The man and the woman will work as one, with the same and definite goal and purpose in life.

Naturally, men and women are different individual. If we count the ways of man, one plus one is equal to two (1+1=2). Why one? Because, God is creating a new man through Christ and the Church, wherein, the union of man and woman is patterned. Through this, God is creating a new man with his commandments.

So, if asked, are you and your wife together as one? If you contradict with each other in most of the ways, it’s unsuccessful. If you enter into marriage, make sure that you subject yourselves to each other. If you don’t eat a certain food during your bachelor years, and that certain food is your wife’s favorite, learn to accept and eat it. If you want to be saved and reach the kingdom of God in heaven, this is one message for all of the married couples, that the husband and wife is an entity. Nobody can separate you from each other. You are one. Let us read Matthew 19:5-6—

”And said, for this cause shall a man leave father and mother and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”

Are there any means to separate you if God had united you? None. Impossible. For the identity will die. If the husband and wife are separated, it is like beheading a man separating the head from its body. You are beheading the entity, the person. Even in the law of man, it is recognized, only authorities never explain them. Sometimes, the wife could sign in behalf of the husband and the husband could sign in behalf of the wife. And it can be legal. And so, sometimes if they decided to separate, there is what they call conjugal property which should be divided equally because the two of them must be one.

Marriage is a sensitive case. But the usual scenario, the priest tied them in matrimony and if the relationship failed, the same priest would advice them and give his blessings of separation. The Bible says, whatever God had joined together, let no man put asunder. Anyone should not destroy what God had put together.

Marriage is a sensitive case. But the usual scenario, the priest tied them in matrimony and if the relationship failed, the same priest would advice them and give his blessings of separation. The Bible says, whatever God had joined together, let no man put asunder. Anyone should not destroy what God had put together.

Then there will be the tying of “knot”, they have read a knot in the Bible and interpreted it literally. But what is really the knot in its true meaning in the Bible? In Romans 7:2—

“For the woman which hath a husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth…”

The knot in the Bible which binds the woman and the man is the law – the binding tie between the couple. Once bound by that law, you should not be separated.

Nowadays, divorce and legal separation are rampant in the society. So before you enter into marriage think about it first. (”Can I take his body odor or his bad breath?”) You have to spy on him first at times when he has work and all sweat, find out if he has skin diseases, so if it turned you off at least you’re not yet committed. Once the priest said “Do you accept…” and you said you “do”, you really have to “do” because you will disappoint God the next time, the third time, the fourth. He had made a man and it failed so he is now creating a new entity in life. The union on the man and the woman will strengthen the life He is giving which will be instrument of procreation. An entity that will produce love, care, nurture, they will represent the caretakers of God for the next generation. If marriage won’t remain intact, many will suffer. There are couples who produced 18, 20, 24 children. Where will you place them? Truly those couples really love each other because if not, they will not produce that many.

Nowadays, a couple separates so soon, they have not even yet bear a child, because they do not understand each other. The Bible’s pronouncement …whatever God hath joined together, let no man put asunder.

So young ladies and gentlemen, if you really want to be saved, think of it because you cannot go out of marriage anymore. To love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for better or worse, till death do us part. Marriage is the career which retirement is – death. You can sign your letter of retirement only when you’re dead. You cannot retire before it happen. It is good to see an old couple walking hand in hand who are so sweet with each other. I hope they’ll be saved. Those who have persisted poverty, whosoever is sick they’re still together, the other is abroad and the other half remains faithful – it is hard for a woman to do that especially if the man is not around her to comfort, same with the man. I hope couples like them will be saved. They have understood the purpose of God why He had joined them.

So let us study how these two will remain together as one. What should be done? Here’s one. In I Corinthians 7:3—

“Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence…”

The breadwinner usually is the husband. To whom does he give his salary? To his wife. Of course, the woman cooks your food, washes your clothes, caresses your tired body, gives you comfort and relaxation, it is your wife. Usually she serves as your “shock absorber”, a house maid, and then when you received your salary you will give to your mother? That’s not what the Bible conforms with. What is in the Bible…the husband should render his wife what is due to her…The woman should look for it just like a bird, when he is in the process of courting, he prepares a nest. So before you woe, prepare first a home or at least money to rent a house.

Youth sometime stow away. (“How much do you have?” “Just this for transportation.”) How will you survive? You promised not to let her wash the laundry, not to cook…but it’s true for you have nothing to wash because you only have two pairs of clothe and nothing to cook! So be careful especially the young. Think about it first.

I advice the young to put marriage last among your list of priorities. Firstly, a child has responsibilities to his parents. It is not because you’re already an adult that you disobey your parents. In Ephesians 6:1-3—

“Children, obey your parents to the Lord for this is right. Honor thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise. That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth…”

Before you get married, remember you still have responsibilities first to God and to your parents. First things first. You must know your priorities in life being a Christian. The child has responsibilities to his parents as well as the parents have responsibilities to their child.

Let us go back to marriage, in I Corinthians 7:3-4—

“Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence; and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath no power of her own body; and likewise also the husband hath no power of his body, but his wife.”

If you marry, you lost control of your being. It is your husband who holds power of your body. Your husband is your owner. Your hands and his hands all of you are his and all of him are yours. So if he likes to kiss you, you cannot resist. If he likes you to scratch his itchy back, you must follow.

Now, you have undergone the so called sacrament of matrimony. Have you heard your priest teaching you these things? You should remember, in marriage, the man has no power in his body but the wife, and the wife has no power in her body but the husband. When you think of nature, man and woman is equal. And so God said… “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Mat. 19:6).

“Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh.” (Mat 19.5) It is not said that one flesh and still one spirit. They are not joined in one spirit. There are instance that the two cannot be joined together. There are times that the man is more powerful than the woman.

On material example, the father is called “padre de familia”. Whose name the child carries with? It’s the husbands’. Some countries now equalized the status and rights of men and women. In the Bible, I Timothy 2:11—

“Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I offer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence…”

There are instances that the woman cannot be the decision maker or professor of the husband. The president is the man and so you are one in flesh. You have rights to each other. But in major decisions in life regarding your relationship with each other, with your parents, lawyers, in-laws, your siblings, it is the man should be the first as breadwinner, where to live, what to buy or invest in…

In marriage, couple will share all, left and right, up and down, there surely will be many problems. If in small things, like TV, colored or black/white, there are just small things but if they both do not know the law of God, they will end to worst sometimes leading to death.

If you will not learn, your marriage will be hell. So if you want a marriage that is contented, happy, fruitful, peaceful, holy? God has commandment to both husband and wife. The first when it comes to flesh: “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence; and likewise also the wife unto the husband.” The husband will give his salary to the wife, in return the wife will do the household chores—wash your clothes, cook your food, do the household chores for you.

The couple should render to each other what is due. Just like what the preacher said, “let us love one another…” He never explained what love it should be. Everything should be explained in detail. So if the Bible says… “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence; and likewise also the wife unto the husband…” What are these dues? We will continue on our next discussion.