The Qualities of a Good Wife
In our previous discussion, we have learned the qualities of a good wife. I remember some of you even had gas pains for laughing a lot when you learned the bad and the improper deeds of a woman. For instance, it is not proper for a woman to wake up very late. It is also not good if a wife lets her husband wear a shirt whose armhole is not mended. It is also not good if a wife lets her husband sleep on pillows with marks of saliva printed on it, as if they were the maps of Japan and Sumatra. No wonder, the husband is tempted to look for a woman whose pillows are sweet smelling. When they were not married yet, his wife always smelled newly bathed, but today, she smells stale and pungent. That is why her husband has thought of looking for another woman.
Not that we are being judgmental, but we are compelled to conclude that there are indeed wives who did not come from God. If a woman really came from God, her trails would surely match the traits of a woman that came from God, which were spoken in the Bible. If a woman is not kind, if she is clamorous and a rumormonger, if she is lazy and unfaithful, where do you think did she come from? If she did not come from God, automatically, she must have come from the devil. Isn’t it that there are only two groups of people here on earth? It is either you are of God, or of the devil. That is what John 8:47 says—
“He that is of God heareth God’s words: ye therefore hear them not, because ye are not of God.”
From whom did those who were not of God come from? This is what John 8:44 says—
“Ye are of your father the devil.”
Therefore, how many groups of people are there in this world? It clearly states that there are of God and there are of the devil. But do you know that there is still a possibility that those who are of the devil may become of God?
This is what we are going to study this time. How are we going to transform your wife if she is clamorous and unfaithful … if she is a rumor monger . . . if she feels restless whenever she is inside the house … if she prefers to go around in the neighborhood. There are women who, very early in the morning, are seated in the steps of the stairs, gossiping while they remove lice from each other’s hair.
There are different kinds of women. There are women who talk a lot; there are rumor mongers; there are women who are like news reporters – walking incessantly to gather the latest gossip. Let us read what Proverbs 9:13 says—
“A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing.”
There are, indeed, clamorous women. They do nothing 24 hours a day except talk. It’s a non-stop talking. That is why, when her husband felt that he can no longer withstand the nagging of his wife, he decided to leave her. The wife just woke up one morning and found out that her husband had left her. Undeniably, there are women who really talk a lot.
Now, can we consider that kind of a woman of God? Of course not! However, we must not despair and feel hopeless. God has ways of converting a woman who is not of God into a woman of God.
So we are going to continue the topic that we have just started. Our question is, How could you repair your respective wives? How can you make your wife a woman that is of God? Are there ways by which we can change her? Is there still a chance that a person who is under the powers of the devil becomes a person of God? Is there still hope for that person? Let us read the answer in Acts 26:18—
“To open their eyes, and to turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan unto God.”
So, there is still a way. It says, “To open their eyes, and to turn them from darkness to light, from the power of satan to God.” Therefore, there is still a hundred per cent possibility that a person who is of the devil becomes a person of God. It does not mean that you will automatically go to hell if at one point in your life you became a sinner, and you were under the power of the devil. No! God has prepared a way for us to be freed from the clutches of the devil. Let us read the verse once again—
“To open their eyes, and to turn them from the darkness to light, and from the power of Satan unto God,”
And once their eyes are opened, they will be brought back to light. And from the power of satan, they will be led back to God. Why will they go back? They were originally of God. From your childhood you were already of God; you were not really of the devil. But when did you part from God? When did you become of the devil? When you started doing bad things, when you began committing sins, when you prefer to do only the things that you like. You parted from God, and you turned to the devil. That is why there is a need for us to go back to God. Let us read Malachi. 3:7—
"Even from the days of your fathers ye are gone away from mine ordinances, and have not kept them. Return to me, and I will return unto you, saith the Lord …”
They did not want to obey. Just like Adam and Eve. Until God said, Return to me, and I will return unto you. If a man turns his back against God, God likewise turns His back against him. But if you return to him, God will return to you also. In other words, God’s treatment to us depends on our actions and our deeds. So if you love him, He will love you also. If you get angry with Him, He will still give you a chance. If you turn your back against Him, He will find a way to make you return to Him. But if you really no longer want to go back to God, He also will no longer be interested in you.
Other people think that they can make fun of God. They say that God will readily grant forgiveness to man so long as he is able to say: Jesus-Mary-Joseph! (“Hesus Maryosep”) before he dies. Is God that unprincipled? All your life you did nothing but foolishness and by the mere utterance of “Hesus Maryosep” you will already be saved? Is God like that? Let us read what I Chronicles 28:9 says—
“And thou Solomon my son, know thou the God of thy father, and serve him with a perfect heart and with a willing mind: for the Lord searcheth all hearts, and understandeth all the imaginations of thy thoughts: if thou seek him, he will bound of thee; but if thou forsake him, he will cast thee off for ever.”
God also casts off if you forsake Him. But God does not cast off anybody without any reason. It is written in the Bible that God is easily provoked to anger. He does not get angry without any valid reason. No! God is long-suffering; He is giving you the chance to repent. Let us read what is written in II Peter 3:9—
“The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is long-suffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.”
God is giving us the chance to repent. That is why we are being given the opportunity to go back to God, just in case we had been under the power of the devil. There is still a possibility. Therefore, if your wife came from the devil, we will make her a woman that is of God.
Others perhaps may think that I am boasting when I said we transform her into a woman of God. I am not! We can really make her a woman of God. Let us read Matthew 28:18—
“And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth. Go ye therefore, and teach all nations …”
God can make disciples for Himself. Remember? “… make disciples …” Disciples are not born; disciples are made. Please, bear that in mind. What do I mean? Even if you used to be of the devil, God is all-powerful that He can convert you to be His disciple. Christ talked with His 11 disciples, (11 because Judas has betrayed Him), before He ascended to heaven. And He told them, “Teach all nations”. How can one become a disciple? Let us continue reading—
“… baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world.”
That was very clear. That is why there is indeed a possibility that a person who was once under the power of the devil may become a disciple of God. Those people who are living in darkness under the power of Satan can be made disciples of God and of Christ. Disciples can be made. Now, how can we make your respective wives disciples? This is how. Acts 11:26 says—
“And it came to pass, that a whole year they assembled themselves with the church, and taught much people. And the disciples were called Christians in Antioch.”
They mingled with the members of the church; they taught many people. And those who were taught were called “disciples”, and those disciples were, in turn, called Christians in Antioch. The “Pasyon” also confirms that.
That is what the “Pasyon” said. That is why it is really possible that a person becomes a disciple. He would become an ally of God. Still, according to the “Pasyon”:
This is what is going to happen to those who refuse to accept God’s teachings. But those who will accept them will become God’s disciples, even if they were former followers of the devil. From the power of Satan, they will now be under the power of God, if they accept His teachings.
Do you want your wife to be “repaired”? Encourage her to listen to the word of God. Let her read the words of God, and we will teach her how to become of God.
I once met a couple in San Fernando. The husband was quite good looking, while his wife was also said to have the looks. However, as years passed, she grew fatter. The body that used to resemble a Coca Cola bottle became shapeless like Coca Cola in tin can. She no longer looked attractive, so her husband did nothing but played around with other women. Fortunately, he was able to listen to our program, “Ang Dating Daan”, so, he was enlightened. By listening to our program, little by little, he came to realize his transgressions against his wife. And with tears in his eyes, he came to me and said, “From now on, through the help of God, I will no longer cheat my wife.”
And when he saw the change in him, she, too, began to listen to our program. Prior to that, his wife used to be very angry with me. She was asking her husband (“What did Soriano make you eat that you never fail to go to his program?”) The woman was very angry with me. She had even thought of separating from her husband. But when she saw that her husband had become a better husband, she started to listen to our program, too.
Actually, the first time I met her, she did not even react when I greeted her “good evening”. That was because she was still angry with me then. When I met her for the second time, I greeted her again. Still, she did not say a word, but she nodded her head. But after a week of constant meeting, she even went out of her way to prepare me a cup of tea. I was reluctant to drink the tea because I was thinking that she might have put poison on it. I really didn’t know what to do with it. But after a while, she told me, “Brother Eli, you better drink your tea for you not to develop sore throat.” I was alarmed; I didn’t know what to do. So, I just said a silent prayer: “Lord, I am entrusting you my life. If I do not drink this tea, this woman might perceive me as a stumbling block.” Anyway, if that tea contained poison that would only mean that God has willed my death. And there is nothing I can do to go against the will of God. You know, when she saw me drank the cup of tea, the following day she already brought me sandwich. Until finally, she became a very steadfast member of the Church. She would even invite some visitors to come over.
That only proves that, no matter how evil minded a person was … no matter how obscure his understanding is of the words of God … he could still be made a disciple of God. I have witnessed how this happens in so many instances.
We have a member who was a former NPA and Hukbalahap. He had murdered many; he had abused a lot during the Martial Law period. But he had repented for all of those transgressions when he began to listen to our program. Now, he is completely a reformed man. In fact, he had expressed his willingness to die should the people he had wronged would take their revenge on him. But I told him that it is only God who has the power over the life of men, and that he should leave everything to God instead. And the best thing that he could do is to continue doing the will of God.
We also have a member who, before he joined our group, came to me with reddish eyes. He secretly led me behind some banana plants because, he said, he wanted to ask me something. I saw how red his eyes were although he was not at all drunk. He didn’t smell of alcohol. He asked me if he could still be baptized despite the fact that he had killed 262 people. I was frightened. I was thinking that, before that evening ended it would already total to 263 (myself included). He asked if God would still forgive him. I told him, “Why not?” We can read from the Bible that if you will return to God, He will take you away from the clutches of the devil, and your sins will be forgiven. I read to him Colossians1:12-14—
“Giving thanks onto the Father, which hath made us meet to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in light: Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness, and hath translated us into the kingdom of his dear Son: In whom we have redemption through his blood, even the forgiveness of sins.”
It is expected that you do wicked things because you are still in darkness. You have not acknowledged God yet. He told me that he was not really wicked. At the back of my mind I was thinking, how dare of him not to consider himself wicked when he had killed 262 people! According to him, more that 200 of those that he had killed were Japanese because of what they did to his relatives. He said, one of them was not only raped but they also slashed her body into two pieces. That was why he was very furious of the Japanese. He had also witnessed how a baby was thrust upward and then, it was caught by a bayonet. That was how cruel the Japanese were, and our grandparents who lived during the Japanese occupation can attest to that. Sometimes, if they want to torture people out of fancy, they would pluck their nails, and then pour ashes and salt onto it. That was the reason why every time that he would see Japanese without any companion, he would unhesitatingly kill him. So, all in all, he was able to kill more than 200 hundred Japanese, and more than 40 “Makapili’s” (Filipinos who betrayed fellow Filipinos).
And because of that, he was thinking that he had become a wicked person. However, I told him that despite the cruelty of the Japanese, they still were human beings. And whatever his motive was, it was still murder. But in spite of that, God may still forgive him. I read to him the verse. Once you have been delivered from darkness and you have returned to God, all of your sins will be forgiven in baptism. Let us read II Peter 3:20-21—
“Which sometimes were disobedient, when once the longsuffering of God waited in the days of Noah, while the ark was a preparing, wherein few, that is, eight souls were saved by water. The like figure whereunto even baptism.”
I told him that baptism saves. In like manner that water cleansed the world during the time of Noah. If God eradicated everything that was bad through water, man’s sins can also be washed away by baptism. All your sins can be removed by the water of baptism. We could read that in Ephesians 5:26-27—
“That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word; That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.”
In other words, by means of “the washing of water with the word”, and that refers to baptism, God will cleanse you. You know, after receiving baptism the eyes of that man changed. They were no longer red, unlike before, and they no longer looked treacherous.
There was also a whore what I met in Sto. Cristo, Guagua. She was a harlot and a concubine of a Chinese. We were in the river then, because were supposed to give baptism to 12 individuals. We were not aware that that particular river was infested with leeches. Perhaps, they were disturbed when we got into the water. Every time I remember that, I couldn’t help but develop goose bumps. When we immersed that woman into the water, for some inexplicable reason, all of a sudden, there appeared some sort of a whirlpool. We didn’t know why and how it happened. There was no strong wind blowing then, and there was neither a typhoon nor an earthquake. All I knew was there were leeches all over the place. But you know what? We baptized 12 individuals, and we stayed in the water for more than half an hour, but through God’s mercy, nobody among us was sucked by those leeches. Nobody.
After baptism, I inquired from the residents of Sto. Cristo what they knew about the woman. And they told me that she was called “Tandang Goreng”, but she was better known as “everybody’s mistress”. In other words, she was a woman of dirty reputation. And I couldn’t help but think then that, perhaps the reason why the water was stirred like a whirlpool was because several evil spirits were cast of her. No wonder, her eyes were fierce. But after baptism, her eyes changed.
This is the reason why I have so much faith in the power of baptism, which is written in the Bible. It has a power to change a person; it has the power to wash away sins. And I have witnesses how these things happen.
There was another unforgettable baptism in Tenejero, Bacolor. Today, that place had been buried by lahar, and nobody resides there anymore. We were also supposed to give baptism there when, on our way to the river we passed by a row of houses. And one of the residents said, “Kamuritan yo! O tinu ke kayu king Sorianong e tuli.” That was what he said in Capampangan. And he said that in a very loud voice. After passing by his house, all of a sudden, a lightning struck and it hit the roof of his house, and it got burned. While we were giving baptism, the lightning kept on striking. So, I prayed to God, “Lord, please take good care of us. Please, take control also of the lightning.” We saw how the lightning hit the house of the person who mocked us.
As a result, after that incident, a lot of residents of that place joined our group. The first time that we gave baptism there, we baptized only about 3 or 6 individuals. But after a month, our members there grew to more than a hundred. And we attribute that to the miracle that they witnessed. They saw how the house of the person who laughed at us was hit by lightning. Most of the people we baptized were formerly wicked. In fact, one of them was a terror in Bacolor. But, thank God, until today, they have remained humble and obedient to the doctrines of God. They no longer drink intoxicating drinks; they no longer gamble; they no longer get engaged in any vice.
That is why, I strongly believe that God can change even the most wicked person, and make him a disciple of God. Therefore, if your wife happened to be the most talkative woman in the world, just encourage her to study this, and we will help you curb her tongue.
Faith can do things, which are hard to do. Faith can move mountains. And if faith can move mountains, faith can also transform lives. Faith can change a person.
Take my case as an example. I smoked for more than 20 years. I used to sell cigarettes also. My secretary and I used to consume a whole pack of cigarettes overnight. I had a store in Ayala Avenue that used to sell cigarettes. However, when I started believing in the Scriptures, I quitted smoking. I tell you, I did not do it gradually, like what the others are doing. Others quit smoking little by little. If they normally consume one pack a day, they would reduce their consumption to half a pack. But I learned that that method is not effective. By just reducing cigarette consumption, you are not really eliminating the nicotine and the tar in your system. The nicotine and the tar are the substances that give a person the urge to smoke. If you only reduce the quantity of cigarettes, you do not really stop your nicotine intake. As a result, the craving for cigarette remains.
Do you know how to cleanse your system of those substances? Do you know how to stop the urge to smoke? Refrain from smoking for 6 months, or for a year. After that, you will now lose your desire for cigarettes. It is only after you have cleansed yourself that you will finally lose your craving for cigarette. Later on, you would even feel irritated whenever you smell smoke of cigarette.
In the past, I used to light a cigarette stick even before I wash my mouth. The best time to smoke was when I was having my coffee. But when I learned to quit smoking, the mere cigarette smoke makes my stomach turn upside down. Women smokers must realize that smoking makes them smell bad.
But, how did I stop the habit of smoking? If you are going to talk about natural urges, basically, they are not easily controlled. If we are going to rely on self-control alone, there is always the possibility that you would still light one cigarette stick after another. But FAITH can change a person. I believe that once you start believing, the habit of smoking automatically stops, too.
What I am trying to say is, no matter how a person had been in the eyes of others and in the eyes of God, the moment he returns to God, he will be changed. How can he be changed? One way of attaining it is by listening to the word of God, and later, by receiving baptism. He will have to be taught first of God’s doctrines.
In II Timothy 3:15-17, this is what we could read—
“And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness. That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.”
Through the Holy Scriptures, a man of God may emerge. That the man of God may be perfect, he must be fully equipped with good works.
What should be taught to him? The Bible said, All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.
For a woman to change, she must learn this. The same with the men. If you want to be a good husband, or wife, you must learn this. Faith begins with listening – listening to the word of God. That is what the Bible says.
So, if you want your wife to change, let her watch “Ang Dating Daan” on television; let her listen to our radio program; bring her to our Bible Expositions. We are not going to teach her anything bad. We will read to her the doctrines of Christ. If you are not very busy, you may jot down the verses that we are reading. Read them for yourself when you go home. I am confident that while you are reading, God will touch your heart and He will change you, including your faith and beliefs.
The Word of God is very powerful. We cannot undermine the things that the word of God can do to the life of a person. That is stated in Hebrew 4:12—
“For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit …”
The Word of God is quick, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even the dividing asunder of soul and spirit. That is how potent the Word of God is. That is why if they believe in its power, the Word of God can readily change them.
Let us say, you are a thief, or, perhaps you have been unfaithful to your husband, or, let’s say you are a rumormonger. No matter what kind of a person you might be, all of your wickedness will be removed if you learn how to listen to the word of God and if you put your faith into it.
Look at Mary Magdalene. She was a whore, but how is she called today? She is St. Mary Magdalene. She is St. Mary of Magdala. She was called Magdalene because she came from Magdala.
But how did Mary Magdalene become a saint? She believed and she had faith. And that changed her life. There is nothing which faith cannot do. For with faith, nothing is impossible. If you have faith, there is nothing, which God cannot do in your life. If you have faith, God can change all of your wicked ways. Proof to that can be read in Isaiah 1:18—
“Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.”
Even if your sins are as glaring as crimson, they shall be as wool. In another translation, it says, they shall be like wool of a newly bathed sheep. If a sheep is newly bathed, its wool is unblemished white. A sheep’s wool is not simply white, it is whitest white. No matter red your sins are, they shall be as white as wool if you live in accordance to God’s righteousness. It only shows the things that faith in God and listening to His words can do. That is why you have to encourage your wife to listen and to have faith.
Now, let us find out, which words of God can change a woman? Would you like your wife to be of God? Would you like her to become a caring and faithful wife? Let us find the ways so that you become a couple that is of God, for both of you to be saved, and for both of you to be good and faithful to one another. What are the doctrines meant for the women? Later, we will find out also the doctrines which are meant for men. You know very well that men are more exposed to temptations? That is why there are more doctrines for men. There are many evil things that beset a man: the peers, the drinking sprees, etc. But I think today, there are also drinking sprees among women. But in the past, only men drank. Men also go to cabarets, and nightclubs to have a good time. But nowadays, women also go out to have a good time. There are matrons who even watch macho dancers.
Let us find out from the Bible the ways by which we may become good husbands and wives. Do you know which among the institutions established by God is the most important? Let us read Hebrew 13:4—
“Marriage is honourable in all …”
Above all things, marriage must be honorable. But how can an honorable marriage be realized? Let us go back to the entire verse once more—
“Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.”
The reason why marriage should be honorable is because whoremongers and adulterers will be judged by God. Husbands and wives, do you want to be spared from God’s punishment? There is still time left. Others would perhaps ask, “What about me, Brother, I also have played around in the past; I also committed adultery; I also womanized.” Don’t worry, you still have a chance because you were not aware yet of the intensity of those sinful deeds. That is what we are going to study.
Encourage your respective husbands and wives that both of you study this. If you do not have a wife, but just a mistress, you may invite her also. God has a way for all people. God does not readily cast people aside. Other men have separated from their wives. His wife has married another and so has he. Others live with their concubines, with their number three perhaps.
Faith can transform the wicked ways of men into good. That is why, even if she is a mistress, a number 3, or a number 4, encourage her to study the word of God. Who knows, she might change when she learns God’s righteousness. I know of a woman whose husband had joined our group. So, she began to listen to us also. After listening to us, she decided to separate from the man … because she was just the number 2. She told the man to go back to his real wife. Although her son was already a teenager, she still separated from him. Bu doing that, she did not only “repair” her own life, but also the other family.
That is why, it is important that you know the teachings of God for women, so that she may be repaired. The first that must be repaired is her tongue. How about the doctrines for men? What must be repaired in a man? That is what we are going to study next time, God willing.
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